There are more important things to talk about than me liking a whole bunch of genders, but I do want to share a few things with you guys. And now that I've said that, I have a few things to rant about. I suffered with some level of my own internalized homophobia even while playing the first openly gay character on Disney Channel.”Ĭlick inside to see everything Joshua Rush tweeted…įirst! i win! it's me. FIFTH GRADE! That was well before I had any clue of my own identity and orientation. “I had a close friend of mine come out to me in fifth grade. “Instead of feeling the courage to tell you today that I am an out and proud bisexual man because of the character I played for four years, I feel that courage thinking of all of you, who felt emboldened by Cyrus to come out,” Joshua continued. There are more important things to talk about than me liking a whole bunch of genders, but I do want to share a few things with you guys.” And now that I’ve said that, I have a few things to rant about. The 17-year-old actor posted on Twitter, “first to respond to this tweet is bi lol,” and quickly followed up with, “first! i win! it’s me. Perhaps sooner rather than later.Disney star Joshua Rush – known for his work on Andi Mack playing Cyrus, the TV network’s first LGBTQ character – is opening up about his sexuality. While there may not be a moral to the story, it seems there will be a light at the end of this tunnel. It’s made it easier for me to be open about mine. But I’m lucky to have parents who care, who make themselves as available as they can, and who are (to a certain extent) truthful to me about the stresses and difficulties they are enduring. There was no right or wrong way for my parents to do this they needed to make the change in their lives and they didn’t make it without consideration, reading, and understanding of the fact that it would affect me.ĭivorce can feel like a specter upon childhood, and the scars it creates may not disappear upon the completion of my transition into adulthood. The sense of a safety net that I had between my two parents has been torn in half, and I’m going to have to rebuild it on my own. Parental separation, at any age, can tear someone’s world apart. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but there isn’t actually a moral to this story.” So, one year and one week after my parents’ first letter to me, I broke down in front of my mother and asked her when I’ll be able to close this frustrating chapter and what the meaning of all of this would be for my life story, and I didn’t get the answer I wanted. I want to be comfortable with my new normal. I want to wrap up this uncomfortable period, put the divorce behind me, and accept all the changes that have come with it. I’ve experienced so much turmoil because of their divorce, and I’m anxious for it to all come to a close. When I consider all that, it feels like my struggles are irrelevant and unimportant-it felt babyish to rest my mounting depression and anxiety on my parents’ divorce. My mom has found a boyfriend, and even though I can’t help but shake a feeling of resentment towards him, I know it’s not about him-even at 18, I can’t help but feel that there’s a man I’ve hardly met who’s trying to replace my dad. My father is bouncier, more fun to be around, more excited to talk, and building new friendships and relationships. My parents are still friends, they talk multiple times a week, and they’re both happier. It’s hard for me to stop feeling the classic trope of “kid feeling like it’s his fault,” but also that of a new one: “my situation isn’t that bad.” I’ve struggled with my parents’ impending (the papers still aren’t filed) divorce in many ways, but in the end I feel guilt, and omnipresence of two tropes. I suspect it’s become an open secret among my extended family. I’ve felt unwilling and uninterested in discussing it publicly, only allowing close family and friends to know. ![]() ![]() The divorce has somehow been a shameful thing for me, and my parents have been co-conspirators in that shame-they haven’t seemed keen on me announcing it via Twitter thread. For much of my life-from the age of six, when we moved to LA and I became a working actor, all the way to today as an 18-year-old, my personal life has been mostly public. I’ve kept it a secret from the public, something I’ve not really ever done before. Their divorce has changed me more than I’d like to admit, from my personal demeanor, to the way I’ve pushed away friends and how I turned to social media as a form of solace and of an escape, to how I treat other people around me. I’ve gone through a lot of stages since they broke the news more than a year ago, but that feeling of not knowing where I was physically or who to talk to has, for the most part, stayed.Īnd despite the time that has passed, there still isn’t an ending to it as far as I can see.
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